Allow me to set the stage for the time my photographer went on strike…
Location: Non air-conditioned house
Props: Two flexible lamps with their necks craned, Pixar-style, so they’re cheerfully peering inside the lightbox. Additionally, there is a halogen lamp off to the side, emitting enough heat to rival an oven.
Operation Code Name: Kill Spot (As in: Turn the lights off when they’re not needed so we don’t die of heat exhaustion. Not as in: Do away with Fido.)
Act 1, Scene 1:
- Alaina dashes madly from the lightbox from the fridge and back again, trying to maintain a delicate balance of keeping the chocolates not too cold and not too warm. She looks more than slightly harried (it’s not working too well).
- Her photographer, Sam, perspiring heavily due to the temperature in general and the lamps in particular, tries not to drip on the plate of chocolate balanced on his knees as he dutifully switches out pieces of chocolate and takes shot after shot. He starts to do math in his head (4 poses per chocolate multiplied by all the chocolates on the plate multiplied by however many times the plate would be replaced with another = time to take matters into his own hands)
Act 1, Scene 2:
- Sam (who, it should be noted, is being bribed…with chocolate, naturally…into taking the photos in the first place), suddenly furrows his brow and looks perplexed at the camera.
Alaina is at first completely unaware of the little charade unfolding before her eyes, being too engaged in trying to make sure the chocolate doesn’t melt on the white fabric covering the lightbox. (Epic fail.)
- Sam to Alaina: “Take a look at this one.” She does:
(These are – believe it or not – mini Ritter Sports.)
Alaina can’t understand it. The photos had been turning out great. Now, all of a sudden, the shots are barely distinguishable? The camera couldn’t be the problem, being neither old or under-qualified. That left….
Sam to Alaina: “That’s how they’re all going to turn out until I get some chocolate.”
Yes indeed. The photographer went on strike.
More than once.
(And this – although you certainly can’t tell by looking – is a long-stemmed glassful of milk chocolate kisses.)
Lesson learned. For non-fuzzy images, remember to keep the photographer well fed!!